Towanda!! From Masking to Belonging

You know that moment when your whole body sighs with relief?
Like slipping off shoes that pinched all day.
Or unclipping a too-tight bra.
Or sinking into bed, clean sheets cool against your skin.

That deep, physical ahhh. That’s what belonging feels like in the body.

For so many of us — ex-good girls and the men who love us — leaving a religious system or spiritual group is complicated. On one hand, it’s freedom. The rules don’t fit anymore, the silence costs too much, the shrinking has become unbearable. But on the other hand, it’s grief. We miss the connection, the co-regulation, the rhythm of being part of something bigger than ourselves.

And yet, our nervous systems hold onto the wiring we learned in those places: stay small, keep the peace, mask who you really are so you won’t be abandoned. That wiring worked — until it didn’t.

That’s why community matters. Not the kind that demands obedience or performance, but the kind where you can show up as yourself. The kind that doesn’t punish your presence, but steadies your nervous system. A place where your body can finally be calm while creating the live you want.

This week on the Feral Podcast, we don't only explore Evelyn's Saran Wrap seduction scene, but we also explore her iconic Towanda moment — the day she chose visibility over invisibility. She didn’t just step into the center of her own life; she discovered that the relationships worth keeping actually deepened when she stopped hiding.

We talk about:

How “good girl” conditioning shows up in the nervous system
Why true community makes us feel safe and seen
The difference between masking for survival vs. showing up fully
How choosing yourself now doesn’t mean losing everyone else

This episode is for every ex-good girl who’s tired of disappearing… and for the men who love us, who may not always understand the depth of the loneliness, but who want to hold space with tenderness.

You can Listen or watch here: Feral Podcast Ep. 3 | Towanda!! From Masking to Belonging

So before you move on with your day, notice your body. Maybe your shoulders drop a little. Maybe your breath slows. Maybe there’s just the smallest hint of peace in your chest.

That’s the feeling of belonging. And you deserve it.

With love,
Lori

💌 P.S. This is exactly the kind of co-regulated, nourishing community I’m building around Feral. More on that soon.